TV That Took The Off Ramp

Yes, Steven Seagal does still have a job appearing on TV somewhere.Cracked.com's The 5 Most Embarrassing Moments From 'Steven Seagal: Lawman' is probably the best way to watch this show. Still, if you're free one night and unable to sleep, this should be better than any pill you could take.

Most reality TV is going that way. The concepts, the people, and the budgets getting crazier all the time. (Jersey Shore anyone?) This madness does not just lend itself to recent times or reality TV. There is hardly a stranger time on TV than the 1990's.

1990 brought the world the infamous "Cop Rock". A police drama that was styled as a Broadway musical While the show has made the majority of 'Worst Ever' tv lists, at the time it was up for a handful of Emmys (admittedly for technical work).



In the same family as Cop Rock, Hull High told the story of  urban area high school. The series was part soap opera, part musical. It was killed after 8 episodes. How would it do now in the face of Glee's success?

UPN brought the world two disasters. Homeboys in Outer Space, a 1997 sci-fi spoof wherein two guys fly around the universe in a winged car. The second was The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer a civil war era comedy which now sits half unaired locked in the dark corner forever. It was unpopular even before airing because of it's light-hearted take on slavery.


Then there is the case of legitimate shows the simple got greedy and went off the deep end. Baywatch had a spin off.  What on earth could Baywatch spin off about? Nothing successful. Baywatch Nights was about Sergeant Garner Ellerbee (from the show) quitting his job to start a detective agency investigating X-files-esque crimes along side David Hasselhoff.

In a away it's sad some of the madness didn't make the cut. Poochinski (1990), for example, could have been something people would look back on and say 'At least the special effects here don't like like a $5 puppet dog.' Peter Boyle as a hard boiled cop who was kiled only to be resurrected as a bulldog. NBC only aired their single episode.


There were other shows: "The Hat Squad" (1992), Viva Laughlin (2007), Pacific Blue,The Flash (1990). ect. Of many of them it can be said that "they were so bad, they were good." Can they same be said of today's reality TV? Will we look back ans fondly shake your heads, or will be to deny to the last that we watched them?

Stan Lee's Lightspeed (2006)

"All one of the robbers kept babbling about was this guy. Here one minute and gone the next. Pshoo! Flash of light. Combine that with a reporter's flair, and now we gotta deal with some superhero wannabe in a leotard."

Grade:  D

Quick Review: The fact that it tried made it all that much worse. They should have played it for laughs.

Full review:
I've given this movie D over a ZOMG FAIL, because the Python is a interesting villain. Also, the make up is good.

And to be honest, you can't  ask too much of it going in. Yes, it has Stan Lee's name on it, but is based off a reality TV show. A bad reality TV show (that I saw every single episode of). It's also a sci-fi movie and you know they try to be bad.

Yes, the odds were stacked against it, but there is no excuse for such a sorry, predictable plot. Even decent direction couldn't save this screenplay.

A  government agent from the Ghost Squad (a team that has to be constantly reminded not to kill everyone all the time), Daniel Leight (Jason Connery), losses use of his legs in an explosion. When the evil half-man, half-snake called Python breaks into the hospital to save a comrade, he stops by Daniel's room to turn up the radiation so high that it will kill him. Sadly, it does not and Daniel is able to save himself. The radiation grants Daniel a speedy recovery, and the ability to run at "lightspeed."

I have no problem with the fact that Daniel looks like he's pushing 50. My problem is that Jason Connery isn't a very good actor. The acting here isn't awful, it's maybe a soap opera level, but it isn't something that drives you to watch. And this movie needs to drive you to watch.

Daniel Goddard plays Python who is the motivating face to finish the movie. Python has an awesome makeup job , unique and interesting back story,  and at least some interesting connection to characters. At the end of the day though his revenge is vague and his henchmen are stuntmen extras.

**SPOLIER**Lee Majors has very little to do with anything, until the random twist ending. **SPOLIER**

Nicole Eggert plays the bait Daniel's girlfriend. She is also is a member of the Ghost Squad though you wouldn't know it as she fails to ever really try to free herself when captured. Also thrill at her delvers of "Hey, life happens."

In addition to a nasty case of useless girlfriend syndrome, it suffers from a case of bad superhero suit. While plastering him with cotton muscles wouldn't have been any better, a commando solider should look like he is in shape. 

The special effect are so bad it's distracting. It's like they are out of an early 90s TV pilot. A low budget should lend itself to creativity, not sub par efforts. 

I enjoy B movies and I didn't even enjoy this. If you are looking for a film to mock, this is it. In any other case, I don't suggest you waste any time with it.

How about a Wii workout?

Long have I yearned for a Wii. Mostly, because I want to play more Zelda games, but also to use the ever popular Wii Fit. My 20 pound overweight tummy is going to go to a gym, so this is a good, computerized trainer, right?

Sadly, today I read that “Dusting burns more calories than Wii Fit.”

When you really look at the system, it makes logical sense. The bonuses of dusting outweigh a Wii(wee?) work out too. You get you house clean and you didn’t have to pay to do it.

Reading the comments make the report sound like bull though. It does say some questionable things too. Wii tennis is not part of Wii Fit, for instance.

These inaccuracies are enough to make me wonder about the validity of the whole thing. If nothing else, the Wii Fit help figure BMI and keeps track of weight lost. I would still like to get one someday. Till then I’ll dust…

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Hello and Good Day!

This that standard intro post. The ol' ‘About Me’ and ‘This Blog is…’ If you have read anything here, you don’t need this. Who I am, and what I am doing is evident in this words that come after this early post.

My wardrobe is old blue jeans and t-shirts of comic logos and cartoon characters. My Friday nights are spent playing Magic: The Gathering or curled up with my great plastic love, the playstation 2. I read and collect comic books of the superhero variety, and ones from the Golden Age of comics you’ve most likely never heard of. I spend my holiday weekends at sci-fi/fantasy/anime conventions getting artist and actors to scribble their names on things.

I have been long branded a rare breed. I am a female geek.

Even though I found Mr. Tall, Blue-eyed, and Handsome to share these defining hobbies with, there are few other ladies I can share this with in real life. So I have turned to blogging as an outlet.

This blog will mostly be about the things geeks enjoy and the geekier side of life, but as a journalism major I care about the news and think others should too. Expect to find links to things you should know about!