Stan Lee's Lightspeed (2006)

"All one of the robbers kept babbling about was this guy. Here one minute and gone the next. Pshoo! Flash of light. Combine that with a reporter's flair, and now we gotta deal with some superhero wannabe in a leotard."

Grade:  D

Quick Review: The fact that it tried made it all that much worse. They should have played it for laughs.

Full review:
I've given this movie D over a ZOMG FAIL, because the Python is a interesting villain. Also, the make up is good.

And to be honest, you can't  ask too much of it going in. Yes, it has Stan Lee's name on it, but is based off a reality TV show. A bad reality TV show (that I saw every single episode of). It's also a sci-fi movie and you know they try to be bad.

Yes, the odds were stacked against it, but there is no excuse for such a sorry, predictable plot. Even decent direction couldn't save this screenplay.

A  government agent from the Ghost Squad (a team that has to be constantly reminded not to kill everyone all the time), Daniel Leight (Jason Connery), losses use of his legs in an explosion. When the evil half-man, half-snake called Python breaks into the hospital to save a comrade, he stops by Daniel's room to turn up the radiation so high that it will kill him. Sadly, it does not and Daniel is able to save himself. The radiation grants Daniel a speedy recovery, and the ability to run at "lightspeed."

I have no problem with the fact that Daniel looks like he's pushing 50. My problem is that Jason Connery isn't a very good actor. The acting here isn't awful, it's maybe a soap opera level, but it isn't something that drives you to watch. And this movie needs to drive you to watch.

Daniel Goddard plays Python who is the motivating face to finish the movie. Python has an awesome makeup job , unique and interesting back story,  and at least some interesting connection to characters. At the end of the day though his revenge is vague and his henchmen are stuntmen extras.

**SPOLIER**Lee Majors has very little to do with anything, until the random twist ending. **SPOLIER**

Nicole Eggert plays the bait Daniel's girlfriend. She is also is a member of the Ghost Squad though you wouldn't know it as she fails to ever really try to free herself when captured. Also thrill at her delvers of "Hey, life happens."

In addition to a nasty case of useless girlfriend syndrome, it suffers from a case of bad superhero suit. While plastering him with cotton muscles wouldn't have been any better, a commando solider should look like he is in shape. 

The special effect are so bad it's distracting. It's like they are out of an early 90s TV pilot. A low budget should lend itself to creativity, not sub par efforts. 

I enjoy B movies and I didn't even enjoy this. If you are looking for a film to mock, this is it. In any other case, I don't suggest you waste any time with it.

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